Been a while

It's been a while since I could find the time to write, so I'm going to try to make up for it a bit. I really missed having the ability to vent. Some things I've learned recently are: people aren't always what they seem, some people walk out of your life and instead of leaving an impression leave a festering wound, and life throws you obstacles sometimes that seem like too much to bear but you still have to have the courage to face them.

I've done some regrettable things in the past, but the more I think about it the more I wonder if those mistakes more of a way for me to learn something about myself. Don't get me wrong there are times I wish life would have thrown me different kinds of obstacles just so they wouldn't have left me so wounded or vulnerable  I now have regrettably began closing myself off to people trying very hard not to let them get too close for fear of rejection, or the inevitability of them walking away from me for reasons I can't begin to fathom.

My husband calls it being jaded, and wants me to not close off to people so much, which is extremely ironic if I really sit and think about it since he was always the one picking up the pieces of me and putting them back together. I try really hard to be myself but more often then not conform myself to what other people think or want me to be. It becomes exhausting trying to keep up with the many versions of myself I have floating around. I'm not entirely sure how to change it and just be myself...So in relation to that I'm going to admit a few things here about how I really am...

• I can be extremely emotional, even if I put up a front my emotions are right under the surface.
• Anyone I have ever considered a friend even if they wrong me are still in my thoughts and no matter how hard I try I never really stop caring (sometimes I wish I could)
• I don't enjoy confrontation, but sometimes I really just can't hold in the frustration anymore
• If you were ever an enemy of mine in one form or another, know for a fact that hasn't changed. I might forgive those that deserve it (not many by the way) but I never forget.
• My heart is easily broken by people that I care about, I'm quick to try to fix it, but somehow the thing that went wrong is always in the back of my head and I wonder if there was something I could do to prevent the pain in the first place.
• My kids are my universe, but sometimes I just really need a break to feel like an individual once in a while.
• My best friend I have ever had is my husband he understands me better than most even if sometimes he gets frustrated with me, I cant picture myself with anyone else.

I know this one isn't terribly organized but it's at least a start. I hope to be able to write more in the near future if the kids are will to work with me. Feel free to leave your thoughts, I'm gonna go do the dishes now ;)

To my husband

Looking back at the way things were. It's been a long road to get where we finally are today, full of bumps and potholes, and sometimes its easy to forget why we are this way. I remember what is was like when we first met, and how we couldn't ever seem to not want to be near each other. Yes things are different now, not because we want them to be but because in a way they have to be. There are times when its hard to look back and see the way things were compared to how they are now.

The first time I looked at you my heart stopped, and I knew there was something different about you. I couldn't stop thinking about you after that. All I wanted was to see you again, to make sure I wasn't imaging things. Then it happened I watched you walk up to me, and felt my heart stop just like it did that first time. I couldn't take my eyes off of you, all I wanted was to be closer to you. When the night ended and we went our separate ways I knew something in me had changed. I felt like part of myself was missing, and I didn't get to figure out why until a few months later.

The next time I ran into you, I couldn't resist asking for you to call me finally. Then when the phone rang just after I walked in the door I felt my heart leap, I have never been so thrilled in my entire life (even though you couldn't remember my name, and by then I was girl with short brown hair). Not long after that, we were nearly inseparable, spent every minute we could together, and when we couldn't be we were on the phone.

I had never felt so connected to anyone even in the beginning, every touch every word felt as if we had been together for years. Always having to be touching something, holding hands or having our knees touch when the hands had to stay in view. Wanting to wake up everyday and just be together no matter what we were doing or what problems we were having, as long as we were together everything would be alright.

Two years pass, and its our wedding day, I have never been so nervous and excited for anything in my life (except for the kids of course). I kept wondering if at some point you were going to change your mind, and run away screaming, and when those doors opened and I walked out and saw you standing there waiting for me, I felt like a princess. I felt so special and important, I never wanted the day to end. Knowing that you wanted to be with me as badly as I did you, was amazing and so overwhelming, it was hard not to cry, just to release all the feelings that were building up inside of me.

Things aren't quite the same as they were we have way more things to worry about besides each other. But I can say with my whole heart you are still the one that makes my heart race, and whose touch makes me feel like a princess. You were made for me and I was made for you, even after all the things we've been through, I have never regretted, walking down that aisle and starting my life anew with you. I wake up each day thanking god for leading me to you, and showing me what I needed. Even when things are bad, the one thing I know in my heart is that I love you and that if I wasn't yours I wouldn't feel like myself. Thank you for choosing me and walking hand in hand with me through this life.

Take a second to look

There are somethings I just don't understand, how can people have little to no understanding about how the things they do and say affect other people. Everything that happens has a ripple effect, and careless thoughts and actions can have negative impacts on everything. People need to think before they act and speak, because it is never apparent what can happen if you don't bother to take a step back and look before you leap.

Things that don't seem painful, or hurtful, can ultimately cause more hurt and pain than can ever be imagined. Just because you say one thing and don't see what harm it could do, does not mean that if someone else sees it that it won't have any meaning for them. Different people have things affect them in different ways, just because it doesn't do anything to you directly does not mean that someone else won't feel something because of it.

Consideration for others does not seem to be a priority for very many. I am by no means saying that I haven't done it, but the point is that you have to take a lesson from the things you have done and try desperately hard not to do them again. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, so why not take the time to think previous to doing?

I have to consider my entirely family before I do anything, what they could think or what they could feel. And when other people do not have that consideration when saying or doing something that affects me. It then has to become my job to inform them who all their being inconsiderate is affecting. It is no longer just about me its about everyone in my life. And if that cannot be understood, then they have to politely move themselves along. The last few weeks have been rather difficult because of ripple affects from other people and them not being able to understand it. Its been something that has had a great affect on myself and family, and its been a process trying to put it all back in line, but hopefully if people can begin to have some thoughts about someone other than themselves, it won't be a problem any longer.

In conclusion to all people out there, think before you speak or act, about who and what you're affecting, you never know what kind of damage you could be causing.

Me, Myself, and all the crap that means :P

There are somethings about me that are difficult to explain and understand even for me. But I am going to try to work through that right now. I am one of those people that wear my heart on my sleeve and every emotion I ever feel is easy to notice, unless you're blind and deaf. Hiding and holding in what I'm feeling has never been something that comes easy. Everything I do or say has some sort of feeling behind it. I can't help it, I love easily, but I can hate someone just as easily. There isn't a lot of room for grey area with me, because that has caused hurt and pain in the past, to avoid the hurt and pain I have a tendency to see things as very black and white. This is hard for people that are close to me to understand, but if I didn't do it like that, I'd be broken even easier. There are times when I can deal with the little things that bother me and try to write them off, but if enough little things happen, they'll ball up into one big thing that can't be held in or ignored any longer. Frustration is something I try to deal with daily, and occasionally I can but there are days when I just can't deal any longer. And sometimes that is just because after all the things I've gone through I would think the issues that cause the frustration wouldn't happen (at least not often). And when they continue to happen, its a combination of hurt, anger, sadness and disappointment, that is hard to express. I talk about what's bothering me quite a bit, sometimes to a point it makes those close to me crazy, but if I didn't I wouldn't be able to work through my emotions they would just be constantly there like they have their own pulse. I admit to occasionally blowing things out of proportion, not trying to make excuses for it, but it's that old saying shit rolls down hill, and when the shit keeps piling up one thing after another its hard to not have one little thing be the breaking point. I don't talk to a lot of people, because I don't like to tick people off, and lots of people have a hard time understanding what I'm talking about. And the thought of being judged and picked apart by people isn't something I handle very well. Been dealing with a lot of people that are very good at pretending they care but in the end just taking off all together for whatever reason, and there isn't much worse of a feeling than being totally honest with someone and in the end rejected for it. Life is hard enough without that, I left highschool a long time ago, and there by people being so judgmental is just beyond me. Anyway, I've tried to change how I am, but its never an easy thing to do. Progress is slow and difficult and sometimes nonexistent, but the truth is I will keep trying to not allow so many to take the heart that I have and walk all over it, to just hand it back to me mangled and broken.

The man my husband really is (to those that can't seem to get it)

I know I've written about him previously, however I think there are somethings I failed to mention. He is the sweetest person I have ever met, but he has this tendency to want to be everything to everyone all the time. Lots of people probably wouldn't see where this can become difficult, but he is the person that will take everyone's issues and wants into himself and try to fix things that he really can't. When he can't fix it, it begins to affect his personality and emotions. He will do everything he can forever even things that are impossible. He won't ever say when enough is enough, he will keep going until it nearly tears him into pieces. It's not something he likes to admit to anyone even to me, but I can usually see when it starts. There are people out there that don't listen or watch for the signs, and just keep taking advantage of his ability to appear fine regardless of how he's really feeling. Lots of people over the years have thought that every time something happens and it comes to a stop its because of me, to a point I guess they're right, but if I didn't step in the amount of damage could be devastating. People don't hear or see the things that go on when no one is looking, or they just don't want to open their eyes and see what they're really doing. He has the biggest heart of anyone, but he will never show people how hes really feeling or what hes actually thinking. All anyone else will ever see or hear is what he thinks they need or want. In his own way he's trying to help, and he is helping everyone but himself. This is a very difficult thing for me to watch, because I can see through the front he puts up and feel how its affecting him and what is really going on inside. I hate watching him become someone else for other people's benefit, because if it goes on long enough, it all starts to run together. He will do anything for anyone at anytime, but sometimes people need to know when its too much without being told. He will never say it, until he absolutely has to and everything else begins to snowball. I can't even begin to explain how hard it is to watch and have to be the one to step in, because he won't say anything and they won't bother to take a second look. Everything he does or say has a reason behind it, occasionally reading between the lines is necessary, there is lots hiding under the surface of the exterior.  He is the best friend and husband I could ever ask for, I love him with my whole heart. Others need to see him for what he is one person with a life and a family, he can't be everyone's everything no matter how hard he tries. And the more you ask for the more he'll try to give until it tears him into pieces. So all of you out there that know someone like this, take it upon yourself to know when to take a step back and do whats best because its right not necessarily because you want to.

One day at a time

Life. It has its times when its a struggle, and then times when it looks like nothing could be better. Sometimes its harder to look at the good times because the bad times have a stronger affect. I have been though rough times that make me wonder what the point is, and sometimes they can still be sore spots. So my new goal in life is to take what I learn from those times and turn them into positive experiences. Even if things hurt, if you look hard enough you can find something to learn from. Its not always easy to look for the lessons, but that's when you need to take a step back and take stock of what's important.

Life throws you things that you aren't prepared for, and the best thing you can do is take it a day at a time. There are times when for me looking too far in the future is overwhelming, because there is no way to know if you're going to make it through all of the things that are going on. But if I change my perspective and take it a day at a time, next thing I know more time has passed than I though, and everything is still in one piece. Its not always the easiest thing to do, but taking sometime to think seems to help.

If life was easy all the time would the good times mean as much? Anything in life worth while is going to take work, and its not going to be a walk though the park. However, if it was always simple it wouldn't be nearly as entertaining. I have met people in many different situations and sometimes have wondered afterwards what the hell I was thinking, but then when I meet someone that surprises me and makes me smile it makes all the idiots worth while. Kinda like that Rascal Flatts song says "Bless this broken road that lead me straight to you." Never heard a truer thing be said.

Things in life will get you down but you have to pick yourself up and try again and again.

Clearing a spot for myself in this world

It's kind of funny to think about when I started blogging that I assumed no one would read it or relate to it. And I have never been so happy to be wrong in my life. There are way more people out there that think and understand things like I do. It makes it seem like I'm not always just writing for myself but for someone else also.

I never try to put up a front or be something I'm not (much to some people's dismay). It has worked for me thus far I'm still alive and so are my beautiful children. Sometimes it's hard finding people in this world to relate to, that won't judge or be two faced, but when you find those few people (whether on line or in person) it can be one of the most inspiring moments in your life. I have never been one of those people that things come easy for, everything has come with a lot of work and some very strong life lessons (the good bad and ugly). Having people be able to read something that came from my heart and soul, and not twist it into something, but instead take it and appreciate it is beyond gratifying.

I am not trying to change the world, just make my little world a little brighter and easier to understand (sometimes for myself more than anyone). For me everything makes more sense when its written down, you can take it and understand how you feel, and maybe it might be a little surprising.

I've tried to stay away from writing about things that are, for lack of a better term, graphic. I don't want the shock value that comes with that (sometimes I get that enough in person). Not everything is an open book, I would like to get to that point but I'm not ready for that yet. Revealing things a little at a time seems to be an easier and less scary way to go. By no means am I saying that it doesn't frustrate me that people I thought would understand me just don't, or that the ones I expected to be there aren't. But occasionally an individual has to find their own way and their own voice in this world full of other peoples opinions and drama.

I used to really get upset if someone didn't like what I had to say, or got mad at me, but I've learned being someone I'm not isn't going to help. I am what I say I am and that's all that I am (thanks Popeye for that one). Take me and what I have to say, and appreciate me as an individual or don't it's up to you. But I will still write and live my life the way I see fit. Even with the pitfalls and heartbreak. I will not be someone I'm not for anyone else benefit. But I thank everyone that has been there for me when I needed them without judgment or accusations I am just trying to make a space for myself in this world, one thought or action at a time. So far I think I'm making great progress.     :)

Making sacrifices

Well we sold our car today to pay some bills. It will suck to be without a car again, but I will give up anything in order to keep us a float and make sure my kids are taken care of. It hasn't been easy, and nothing is as simple as it seems, but in the end at least we can say we're doing the best we can. I haven't given up the battle for survival and don't plan to.

It seems like things always fall apart at the same time, but some how we can find a solution. The decisions we're forced to make as grown ups and parents aren't always easy, but its the ability to make them that counts. I hate not having a car, but I would have really hated giving up my home. Sometimes it's hard to believe how quickly things can spiral out of control. One minute you just need a little help, and the next you're so far behind, catching up seems nearly impossible.

One problem I've always had is second guessing my own decisions, and letting other people's thoughts and opinions run my own household. I've finally made it to the point that I can say, I know what's best for my family, even if not everyone thinks like I do. In the end its my decision not anyone elses, they won't have to live with the consequences. I'm not saying that everyone has to agree with me or approve. Just respect my decisions and when I need someone to talk to don't preach to me, just let me have an ear to vent to or a shoulder to cry on. Just because it's not the way you would have done something does not make it wrong it just makes it different. And in the end the differences are what make life interesting, and lets everyone blaze their own trail and learn from the own mistakes and decisions.

Somethings you might see as extremely important when looked at in a different light just don't look the same. Take the time to really look at something before deciding how important it really is.

Famous Quotes from my Husband

Famous quotes from my husband:

"I don't know how you do this everyday, I'd have to poop in the corner just to change the scenery."
(thanks for that babe, good grief lol )

"are you sure you're done cleaning for the day"
(only if you've finished abandoning your clothes and dishes)

"Well, I think its time to get naked"
(honey sorry its noon, and the kids are climbing on me encase you didn't notice)

"Where are the kids?)
(its ten if they're not in bed, they probably ran away, or crawled)

"Hobo beer to the rescue"
(just how I wanted it in a brown bag, like something off of National Lampoons vacation)

"I thought about getting you something at the store today, but then I forgot"
(how the heck does that work?)

"Its whatever"
(what the heck does this mean)

"I love you in your face"
(I don't know if I find this funny or disturbing)

"Why do the kids make that sound"
(if I knew they wouldn't be making that sound)


I can't think of anymore right now but I promise more will be added so keep checking if you liked these one I promise more to follow!

Life and all that comes with it..

I never really thought my life would turn out this way. I had a hard time picturing myself as a mother let alone one that stays at home. I thought I would go to college, get a career started and get married, and see where life took me. But my plan and universe's plan were totally different. I graduated high school, and went off to college, with my now husband starting college with me. The summer after our first year we got married and then pregnant with our first child in the fall. So college got put on (and still is) the back burner.

We went through ups and downs during our first year of marriage, it was a lot to handle. We took a break for a while, not really knowing if we could fix it and move on. Eventually we got everything back together and spent a lot of time mending our relationship. It was hard to just get back into the swing of things as a married couple, while living with my parents and not having any space to call our own. Everyone deciding to give their opinion and get in the middle of our problems didn't help. We moved into the first place we could afford and thought everything would fall into place. It didn't.

I got a promotion at the job I have been working at for nearly a year, and in the same token he got laid off. And then the car died, and it was like no matter what something would happen to hinder progress. Almost 8 months go by of struggling and scraping to get enough to pay the bills. Finally a light came and my husband got hired by his current company. Things were looking good, and then at the beginning of summer, I broke my ankle. So I was out of work, and we found out we were expecting our second child. We ended up back at my parents house, and everyone was constantly on edge waiting for the next bomb to drop. 

Life has taken turns I have never expected, people can surprise you more than you know. My husband is finally making it somewhere in his job, and we'll my "job" is a constant battle. Sometimes it might be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel while always waiting for the bottom to drop out. I love where we live now, and its nice to have a place to call our own, but its getting harder and harder to make it out there. Money is tight and its hard to decide what we need to sacrifice. But I will never give up on this life, no matter how hard or hopeless it seems sometimes. I just have to keep looking for that bright spot, and keep the hope alive.

How to decide whats a want and whats a need???

Its been been difficult lately to find a way to cut costs for raising prices on everything. Finding a balance between needs and wants has not been an easy process. Especially with spring here and summer right around the corner. There just never seems to be an easy solution to financial problems. Where to cut costs is a hard decision to make, we've been trying to eat healthier, but for some reason all the healthier food costs twice as much. We've come to the decision to start selling everything we don't "need" to try to make ends meet. That alone doesn't come without consequences. Sometimes it just feels like a never ending battle.

 I would like to make it to the point that we can pay all the bills on time, and not have to worry about making it to the next pay check. That possibility seems to be a ways off though. In order to make it my husband has to work almost thirty hours of over time during a pay period, and this time of years any over time is hard to come by. The kids are always taken care of and at least have what they need, but its hard to always have to tell them no to things they want. I never was ready to be in this position and its a hard pill to swallow.  There is supposed to be some relief at the end of summer, when the next raise is supposed to go into affect, but its getting to the end that's the problem.

Everything seems to be building up and getting to a breaking point, and there just isn't anywhere to turn. Everyone is struggling, and its just not an easy time, but finding some solutions is a way more difficult than I ever thought it would be. Eventually everything works out like it should, but how, where, why, when? How much more needs to be sacrificed? I wish I could find answers to my own questions. Just need some relief from the stress and feelings of dread and doubt that seem to linger.

Finding an Understanding

It's hard for me sometimes to write about emotional things that aren't easy to laugh at. It touches me in places that don't like to be touched. Emotions come to the surface that I try to hide, but I have learned if I don't work through and try to understand the things I've been though they begin to eat away at my soul. Life isn't all flowers and smiles, it has pain and hurt, and everything in between.

One thing I've learned is that some things that you don't think affect you have a profound impact on the way you do things. I walk on egg shells even when I don't have to out of habit not necessity. But you know I have been able to understand that not everyone is waiting for a fight, or to say something obnoxious. There are people that care and are willing to help you through things and want you for you. Its just knowing when you found that person don't always expect it to be people, sometimes its just one person that will go through it all with you without a problem. Don't take them fore granted.

I found my partner in everything through tough times and good times. We put each other through some things neither one of us deserved, but in the end its what you bring to a relationship not just what you get out of it. I know that this might be read is kinda random, but I know now who is there for me through thick and thin and who is only there when times are good, and they can get something out of you. I love my life and my husband. All of it might frustrate me once in a while, but nothing good ever came without hard work and hurdles to jump. Just do it with class and style, one step at a time. Don't expect it to be perfect all the time, just be prepared to only take out what you put in. So put in everything you want to get back, but only to someone that deserves it.

You know you're a parent when...

You know you're a parent when...


1. 8:30 am is sleeping in....

2. When you take a bath you have to fish the toys out before you run the tub.

3. You know all the lines to all the nick jr. tv shows...

4. None of the locks work, for fear someone will get stuck in them

5. Where there was beer, now there are juice boxes

6. All your dishes are plastic to avoid shattering

7. Going out to dinner with the family, means drive through, and happy meal toys

8. Your flowerbeds/ garden, become a sand box

9. It takes 45 minutes to get into the driveway to leave

10. going to the store is like going to the races, the quickest one out with a child still happy wins.

There are plenty more ways to tell, stretch marks, toys everywhere, and finding random things stuffed in behind and around the furniture. All of it is a sign that your children exist, but at least you know they love you , you love them, and everyone can see the fun and humor in everyday life. My kids might stress me out and have changed my life beyond measure, but they are the greatest thing to ever happen to me in more ways than I can count. (now I have to stop, to try to get one to take a nap and stop sneaking the toys into bed with him)

Not the Stereotypical Stay-at-home Mother

So I got to thinking today about some of the stereotypical, stay at home mom things, and realized, I really don't fit the stereo type. I might stay at home, but I am not any good at baking. I hate to dust, and I really wish I got paid better for the things I clean out of my bathroom. Being a stay at home mom might have its perks but it has some serious pitfalls too. There is no calling in sick or playing hooky you are always on duty. Even though I'm home all the time my house is not immaculately clean or organized, I don't keep my kids on a strict schedule (when I tried that all it did was frustrate us all), When they're hungry I let them have a snack. Bribery is not a foreign concept, when I need ten minutes of peace and quiet, and sometimes toys get "lost" when I clean the playroom. I will admit to getting into a full out screaming match with my 4 year old, (I don't win those very often). And sometimes the TV is my best friend.

Everyone needs that time to disconnect from their "profession", my profession just happens to be something I can't just unplug from. I have done some things that  aren't recommended in those parenting books, or those nanny shows, but my kids are well taken care of and don't seem to be suffering any worse for it. I've been called a mean mommy by my son when I have taken away his favorite toy as punishment for doing something wrong. But then when I let him have ice cream or cookies right after cereal, so I can at least get the floor vacuumed I am the best mom ever.

Oh and watch out I took him to an appointment and the nurse said my son was overweight and I didn't panic or freak out. He is FOUR not fourteen, his favorite foods are carrots and celery (seriously, not even with dressing or dip), and when he stands up straight and lifts his arms up his ribs stick out. What to they expect me to do, make all our lives miserable, because he isn't pencil thin and banned from ALL snacks?

Homemaker might be my profession, but that does not mean I have to do it the way everyone else thinks it should be done. We have fun, and yes we argue, and sometimes the house is a wreck, and sometimes I'd rather order takeout than dirty one more dish for the hundredth time, but there is no reason to look at me like I'm killing my child, I promise he might start fitting now, but when I give in to the next demand all will be right with his world.

My "four" kids

Sometimes men amaze me to no end, well at least mine anyway. One thing that I have never understood is his ability to tone everything out and ignore it all. If I have a kid screaming in my ear my first reaction to the shrill is my ears fall off, then I try to stop it asap so I can put them back on. With him it's like he doesn't have any ears at all, except when he compensates by turning the volume up on the tv or computer, then it just makes me think hes actually deaf. Another thing that I just do get is how he can see a piece of trash on the floor and instead of putting in the TRASH CAN, either stuffs it in his pocket, behind the couch or in the cushions. So when I look for something in the couch I find enough snack wrappers to wall paper the house.

I guess men just think different, one of those out of sight out of mind moments. He leaves just as big a trail in the morning as the kids do ( I really think he believes the cleaning fairies show up and pick it up). I think one of my favorites is the questions like "where is the toilet paper" like I hide it in some obscure location or something. It makes me giggle though when he starts whistling from the bathroom to get my attention and ask for a towel (our towel cabinet is IN the bathroom). The other task that makes me a little crazy is loading the dishwasher not that he won't do it, its just that he thinks its a miracle worker pre-washing isn't always in his agenda so my agenda is always rechecking the "clean" dishes for food chucks and starting all over again.

Don't get me wrong, he tries really hard to help sometimes, and I appreciate it when he does it without me asking or begging more than anything. Just the way he goes about some things fathoms me. Adding ten extra steps to simple tasks that make them take ten times as long, and then ask why it takes so long. He hates cleaning the bathroom, because there really isn't a way to skip parts without me noticing.

There are those days when I feel like I have four kids (2 actual kids, one dog, and a husband), each leaves a trail of junk from one end of the house to the other. I can tell where everyone has started and finished their morning, starting with the trail of clothes, then cereal bowls, cups, food left out, toothbrushes all over the counter, towels, papers, and whatever else was needed. It's frustrating having to be everyone's mother and alarm clock, I think some of this needs to be added to pre-nups, vows, and marriage licenses. All I can really say is nothing will prepare you entirely for marriage and children, but I will firmly recommend at least staying with your significant other before you get married, so the surprises aren't as shocking. There is a lot more to it than just playing house.

Just as an added note I will give him some credit he takes everything I write in stride, and give his in put before and after posting. At least he doesn't mind being my inspiration either in examples of frustration or happiness!

Then and Now

Then and now.........

Partying: Then, wake up at noon, start drinking at five, up till 3.
              Now, 2 beers feels like 10, in bed by ten up at 7am

Romance: Then, Dinner out, movie, making love all night long by candle light.
                Now, quick dinner in, toy story 2, making love for 20 minutes quietly no candles they draw too much attention hurry up and finish so there is time to sleep before kids get up.

Vacation: Then, one bag a long car ride, spend almost entire time in the room, with minimal clothing.
                Now, whole trunk and car filled to the roof (plus stuff strapped to the top), try not to spend much time in the room so kids don't make everyone crazy, multiple layers of clothes to avoid the awkward questions about anatomy.

Taking pictures: Then, everyone is of someone doing something crazy, while holding up drinks, and laughing like a hyena at every idiotic thing going on.
                          Now, all of them are of kids covered in some kind of food, or of them covering you in it. No drinks unless its in a sippy cup or is caffeinated.

Hangover: Then, didn't really know what one was.
                 Now, more than two drinks and you feel like you got hit by a train and thrown into a volcano

Going to the store: Then, go in get what you need and leave.
                             Now, go in wrestle kids into cart, chase the escapee down an aisle, trying to keep things we don't need out of the cart, hurrying up so the happy time doesn't turn into the screaming time. three trips to the bathroom, and still forget half of what you needed.

Stopping for gas: Then, pump gas, pay and leave.
                           Now, pay, take a list in of all the requests from the back seat, try not to take longer than 2minutes so no one thinks you left the kids in the car for too long and calls the cops, get out pump gas, then someone needs to use the bathroom and go back in and come back out and then hopefully leave.

 It's just kinda silly to think about the difference in the way the simple things even become a ten step process. Crack me up anymore to think that I used to be in and out of the store in half an hour.