Making sacrifices

Well we sold our car today to pay some bills. It will suck to be without a car again, but I will give up anything in order to keep us a float and make sure my kids are taken care of. It hasn't been easy, and nothing is as simple as it seems, but in the end at least we can say we're doing the best we can. I haven't given up the battle for survival and don't plan to.

It seems like things always fall apart at the same time, but some how we can find a solution. The decisions we're forced to make as grown ups and parents aren't always easy, but its the ability to make them that counts. I hate not having a car, but I would have really hated giving up my home. Sometimes it's hard to believe how quickly things can spiral out of control. One minute you just need a little help, and the next you're so far behind, catching up seems nearly impossible.

One problem I've always had is second guessing my own decisions, and letting other people's thoughts and opinions run my own household. I've finally made it to the point that I can say, I know what's best for my family, even if not everyone thinks like I do. In the end its my decision not anyone elses, they won't have to live with the consequences. I'm not saying that everyone has to agree with me or approve. Just respect my decisions and when I need someone to talk to don't preach to me, just let me have an ear to vent to or a shoulder to cry on. Just because it's not the way you would have done something does not make it wrong it just makes it different. And in the end the differences are what make life interesting, and lets everyone blaze their own trail and learn from the own mistakes and decisions.

Somethings you might see as extremely important when looked at in a different light just don't look the same. Take the time to really look at something before deciding how important it really is.

Life and all that comes with it..

I never really thought my life would turn out this way. I had a hard time picturing myself as a mother let alone one that stays at home. I thought I would go to college, get a career started and get married, and see where life took me. But my plan and universe's plan were totally different. I graduated high school, and went off to college, with my now husband starting college with me. The summer after our first year we got married and then pregnant with our first child in the fall. So college got put on (and still is) the back burner.

We went through ups and downs during our first year of marriage, it was a lot to handle. We took a break for a while, not really knowing if we could fix it and move on. Eventually we got everything back together and spent a lot of time mending our relationship. It was hard to just get back into the swing of things as a married couple, while living with my parents and not having any space to call our own. Everyone deciding to give their opinion and get in the middle of our problems didn't help. We moved into the first place we could afford and thought everything would fall into place. It didn't.

I got a promotion at the job I have been working at for nearly a year, and in the same token he got laid off. And then the car died, and it was like no matter what something would happen to hinder progress. Almost 8 months go by of struggling and scraping to get enough to pay the bills. Finally a light came and my husband got hired by his current company. Things were looking good, and then at the beginning of summer, I broke my ankle. So I was out of work, and we found out we were expecting our second child. We ended up back at my parents house, and everyone was constantly on edge waiting for the next bomb to drop. 

Life has taken turns I have never expected, people can surprise you more than you know. My husband is finally making it somewhere in his job, and we'll my "job" is a constant battle. Sometimes it might be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel while always waiting for the bottom to drop out. I love where we live now, and its nice to have a place to call our own, but its getting harder and harder to make it out there. Money is tight and its hard to decide what we need to sacrifice. But I will never give up on this life, no matter how hard or hopeless it seems sometimes. I just have to keep looking for that bright spot, and keep the hope alive.